Madonna reveals she “actually contemplated suicide” at one of her lows, before calling the custody battle “one of the most painful moments in my life.”
TW: This story discusses suicidal ideataion.
Madonna is looking back on her life’s “most painful” moments.
While sitting down to do her first-ever podcast appearance on Jay Shetty‘s On Purpose, the music icon opened up about one of the moments she contemplated taking her own life.
“There were moments in my life I wanted to cut my arms off … I actually contemplated suicide,” Madonna began telling Jay.
“I would say probably one of the most painful moments in my life where I honestly couldn’t see the forest for the trees was when I went through a custody battle with my son [Rocco],” she explained.
“Even though my marriage didn’t work out… I mean a lot of people’s marriages don’t work out. They marry the wrong people. They’re not aligned. They’re not meant for each other. Someone taking trying to take my child away from me was like, they might as well just kill me,” she added.
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It’s been almost 10 years since the 67-year-old’s highly publicized custody battle with her ex-husband Guy Ritchie over their now 25-year-old son Rocco.
The custody battle began when her then 15-year-old son abruptly left her Rebel Heart tour to stay with his father in London in 2025, while Madonna continued her 82-date tour amid the legal back and forth.
“I was on tour at the time, so I had to go on stage every night. I would just be lying on the floor of my dressing room sobbing. I really thought it was like it was the end of the world. I couldn’t take it. I just couldn’t take it,” Madonna said.
Despite the fractured relationship with her son at the time, the pair have moved forward and are now in a better place.
“But thank God I don’t feel that way anymore… I’m happy to say that I’m really good friends with my son but I couldn’t see it then. I really thought it was the end of the world. So, you know, thank God I had a spiritual life,” she added.
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Rocco was spotted celebrating his mom’s birthday over the summer in Europe, while the “Hung Up” singer also shared an Instagram post for his birthday in August.
Madonna and Ritchie were married for eight years before splitting in 2008. The custody battle over Rocco began in December 2015 and the two subsequently spent several months battling in court, ultimately settling in June 2016, with Rocco returning to New York.
The seven-time Grammy winner is also mom to Lourdes Leon, 28, with Carlos Leon, and adopted children David, 20, Mercy, 19, and twins Stella and Estere, 13.
If you or someone you know is struggling with depression or has had thoughts of harming themselves or taking their own life, get help. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255) provides 24/7, free, confidential support for people in distress.
