Rachael Kirkconnell Drops Demisexual Bombshell After Split From Matt James

Months after her highly publicized split from “Bachelor” alum Matt James, reality TV star Rachael Kirkconnell is opening up about her sexuality in a new interview that’s sparking conversation across Bachelor Nation. The 29-year-old former winner of “The Bachelor” season 25 revealed she identifies as demisexual, a term used to describe people who only experience sexual attraction after forming a deep emotional bond. The revelation came during a candid discussion with Hallie Batchelder, where Rachael Kirkconnell shared fresh insight into how she approaches love and intimacy following her breakup.

Soon after, Rachael appeared on “Call Her Daddy,” explaining that James told her he “couldn’t see himself proposing” and didn’t feel “ready” for marriage, a revelation that left fans stunned. Now, Rachael’s latest confession sheds new light on how she views connection and attraction post-breakup, and why emotional safety has become her top priority.

During her “Extra Dirty” appearance, Rachael candidly reflected on her romantic approach and how she came to realize she identifies as demisexual. “I think that’s me,” she admitted, after host Hallie Batchelder brought up the term. “I just feel like I do have to have an emotional connection with someone. I just don’t think I could go home with anyone. I have to feel safe and comfortable with them and be emotionally invested at least in a way that I could see us dating or I at least have a crush on them.”

When Batchelder responded that “everyone should be demisexual,” Rachael laughed but stood by her view that connection trumps chemistry. “It’s not a physical attraction, I guess,” she added. “I can say, ‘Wow, that person is really attractive,’ but I don’t care after that. They could have the worst personality ever, and that would make me not want to sleep with them because that totally turns me off.”

The star went on to admit she’s still learning about different labels and sometimes gets “confused” between demisexual and pansexual, but clarified that for her, attraction only grows from emotional depth, not appearance. “I’m more focused on the bond than the attraction,” she said. “Maybe that’s my problem. Their attraction can only get so far for me.”

Rachael Kirkconnell and Matt James’ relationship wasn’t without its share of public challenges. During their season of “The Bachelor” in 2021, the couple faced intense backlash after photos resurfaced of Rachael attending an Old South–themed fraternity formal at Georgia College in 2018, an event that evoked painful ties to the antebellum South and its racist history.

The controversy ignited a national conversation around race and accountability in the “Bachelor” franchise, particularly because Matt was the first Black lead in the show’s long-running history.

At the time, Rachael issued a public apology on Instagram, writing that she was “sorry to anyone that has been offended or hurt” and admitted she was learning how her actions contributed to a broader cultural problem. “I didn’t recognize how offensive and racist my actions were, but that doesn’t excuse them,” she wrote. “They are not acceptable or OK in any sense. I was ignorant, but my ignorance was racist.”